


Shaken (after the song by L.P.

by Nikte



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Greg living the simple life, Greg realizing all he lost, M/M, Recovery, Regret, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 14:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikte/pseuds/Nikte
Summary: This is for Pheeby and De, thank you very much for your comments on "Lost on You", it is not exactly what either of you asked, but this is how I feel the story should continue.To understand this story better read my story "Lost on You"Comments are welcome, hope you enjou ;-)





	Shaken (after the song by L.P.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pheeby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheeby/gifts), [De](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=De).



When he got married for the second time, he did not know what to expect. Certainly not …nothingness. He was…content and comfortable, yes, but it was as if he were numb, his feelings had become a distant strange thing he could recognize, but not really experience…not like when he was with Mycroft…

Back then, Gregory had been happy, really happy…complete…alive in a way he could not explain. He looked forward to get home to Mycroft, constantly checking his watch to count down the minutes before he could go to his lover…ex-lover. It did not matter what mood he was in, if he wanted to talk, to have sex or just to hold each other…Mycroft always knew what he needed, and was always generous in giving it to him…Now, he had to set an alarm so he didn´t get too immersed in work and forgot to go back to his wife in time for dinner.

His wife was a nice woman, she did not ask much of him, but neither did she give him much. They were the perfect couple…on paper, committed to the relationship, respectful of each other and diplomatic in the way they dealt with their disagreements...people said it was because they were “mature”, if Gregory was honest with himself, it was because they were conformist…cowards…

It was not difficult to keep the façade of perfection, she was smart, funny and patient, an excellent house wife and she got along with his Mom and Sis. She understood Greg had a difficult schedule because of his work and did not nag him for missing certain events or for leaving in the middle of reunions, she would simply smile, walk with him to the door, kiss him goodbye and asked him to be careful before he left to some crime scene. She fitted in his life, but was not really part of it. 

She had lost her parents when she was young, and longed for a family, it seemed that she was willing to put up with a mediocre marriage in exchange of “adopting” as hers Gregory´s Mom and Sis… she was closer to them than to him, they were always doing things together.

She even tolerated Sherlock…Sherlock…After he broke up with Mycroft, he had been sure the fabulous Consultant Detective would terminate their association, but he hadn´t. Strangely enough, he had started treating him in a politer, if colder, way…which told him all he had to know about what Sherlock thought about him. But the younger Holmes did not understand, he had no idea of how difficult it had been for Gregory to give up what he had with Mycroft.

Mycroft was the best thing that had happened to him…if Gregory had believed in soulmates, he would have sworn Mycroft was his…unfortunately this was real life, not a fairy tale, and he had to be practical. He loved Mycroft with all his heart, but he knew his family and friends would not had accepted him, at least not easily, and he was not sure their relationship would have survived the pressure, that was why he had decided to end things before they got in too deep. He had hoped that by breaking up before declarations of love were made or harsh words were exchanged, they could make a clean cut of it, and maybe, even return to the cordial interactions they had before the Eurus incident. 

He was still not sure if he had made the right decision…he did not know what was worst, being with the one you love, but rejected by your family and friends, or being with someone you had settled for, with the acceptance of your family and friends…

Luckily, Sherlock had never informed John about his time with Mycroft, that had saved him a hell of an explanation…or maybe it was not so fortunate…since that meant that at least once a year he had to see Mycroft…John loved to celebrate Rosie´s birthday and invited everybody he knew for the occasion. So far, Mycroft had always showed up, if only for a few minutes.

Seeing Mycroft was heaven and hell…These days, Gregory hardly felt anything besides contentment, except for certain occasions…one was every morning, at that point in which he was half awake and half asleep…when he felt the warmth of another person in bed with him, and his brain tricked him into believing that the person beside him was Mycroft. For those few seconds he was happy, complete and alive…then he would awake completely and remember Mycroft was not his anymore, which made him feel miserable…until he started counting his blessings and returned to feel contentment.

And the other time he felt something real and strong, was every year, at Rosie´s birthday party, he would be a nervous wreck while he waited for Mycroft to make his appearance. Gregory spent the whole time with the same glass in his hand, sipping at it slowly, savoring it, as he savored the feelings Mycroft awakened in him just by thinking of him. And then, when Mycroft arrived he felt desire…he wanted to grab him by the tie, push him against the wall and snog him senseless…his wife never refused going to Rosie´s birthday party…she knew that once they returned home they would have a party of their own, like they never had the rest of the year. Gregory refused to dwell on that, he did not want to know what conclusions she could have drawn from that behavior.

Gregory knew Mycroft would be here tonight, but this time he was paralyzed…who was that posh guy by Mycroft´s side? Why was posh guy looking at Mycroft in such a way…why was posh guy getting that smile from Mycroft?

John welcomed posh guy and…and…proposed a toast…a toast for the happy couple. Mycroft kissed posh guy…it was just a chaste kiss…but those were not Gregory´s lips, which meant that kiss was all kinds of wrong, no one should have seen that kiss ever. Gregory was shaken and felt like he was watching somebody else live his life. Just like that, his armor of contentment shattered, and there was nothing to protect him from the sadness and regret that had accompanied him since he had given up on Mycroft.

Mycroft and posh guy left shortly after the toast, but before crossing the door, Mycroft turned to look at him and nodded his head discretely…that small gesture held so much meaning…Mycroft was saying goodbye, I´m over you…Gregory tried to hold a smile, but he was breaking inside.


End file.
